What Clients Teach Us: Lessons from the Therapy Room as a Student Therapist

When I first entered the therapy room as a student therapist, I felt nervous. I wondered if I
would be enough. Like many students, I had learned theories, wanted to help, and had a lot
of empathy. However, I quickly realized that no textbook could prepare me for the real
experiences in the therapy room. I thought I would be the one guiding clients, but I ended
up learning so much from them as well.

Therapy is not a one-sided process. Each session reflects not only the client’s experience but
also my own values, assumptions, and ability to provide support. These lessons have helped
me grow as a therapist and as a person. Here are three key insights my clients have taught
me.

The Power of Presence

Early in my training, I noticed something interesting. Clients often had their biggest
breakthroughs not during moments when I asked the “right” questions or used clinical
tools, but when I was simply present with them. No need to fix things or hurry; just being
there attentively made a difference.

This fits with what experts in trauma, like Bessel van der Kolk (2014) and Janina Fisher
(2017), discuss: feeling safe is essential in therapy. Many clients, especially those with
trauma or attachment issues, need presence more than perfection. I have witnessed the
healing that occurs when clients feel seen and accepted just as they are.

Being present is therapeutic. It communicates, “You don’t need to perform here.” That’s
often where real healing begins.

Boundaries Are Healing, Not Harsh

One of the toughest lessons I’ve learned as a student therapist is how to set boundaries with
kindness and clarity. At first, I was afraid that boundaries would make me seem cold or
unhelpful. But through practice and reflection, I learned that boundaries are not barriers;
they are connections to safety.

Clients have shown me that being consistent, predictable, and honest builds trust. In
trauma-informed care, boundaries create a safe space for clients to explore their feelings
without fearing the relationship will break down. Trauma expert Lisa Ferentz (2015)
explains that healthy boundaries in therapy show clients what it means to have limits while
still feeling connected.

By enforcing boundaries with others, I’ve learned to respect my own boundaries. This has
been especially important as a Black woman in a helping profession, where overextending
oneself can be both expected and reinforced. Establishing boundaries represents self-
respect for me and my clients.

Every Client Is a Mirror

One of the deepest lessons I’ve learned is that therapy is not just about the client’s healing;
it’s also about my own growth. Clients often reflect parts of my own experiences: my fears,
areas for growth, and core values.

Working in this field has highlighted the importance of clinical supervision, self-
reflection, reflexivity, and personal growth. Through this relationship, therapists improve
their skills, identify areas where they need to grow, and stay humble.

As Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then
I can change” (Rogers, 1961). Therapy is a space for both clients and therapists to grow,
learning to meet themselves with compassion.

Final Thoughts

Being a student therapist has taught me that growth happens when I am present, humble,
and open to learning. My clients have shown me that healing is not always a straight path.
Sometimes, the best I can do is create a safe space for them to be themselves.

I no longer aim to be the “perfect” therapist. Instead, I strive to be a present therapist who
listens, respects boundaries, and learns from each session. As I move to the next phase of
my journey, I carry the wisdom of my clients with me. They are, and will always be, some of
my greatest teachers.

References

Ferentz, L. (2015). Letting go of self-destructive behaviors: A workbook of hope and healing.
Routledge.

Fisher, J. (2017). Healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors: Overcoming internal
self-alienation. Routledge.

Rogers, C. R. (1961). On becoming a person: A therapist’s view of psychotherapy. Houghton
Mifflin.

Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of
trauma. Viking.